How To Be Patient In a Digital Era
Technology is ruining our ability to wait, how can we (re)learn to be patient and avoid burnout in this hyper-connected world?
Smartphones allow immediate access to universal knowledge. What used to take hours, if not weeks of research at the end of the 1990ies, is now accessible in a few seconds. It’s obviously great progress, but it is making us all impatient. And along with this decline of patience comes huge stress arousal.
Main causes of impatience in the 2020ies
. Speeding habits
New information technologies lead to new habits individually and collectively. We now demand constant super-fast internet connection wherever we are. We get frustrated whenever our expectations for rapid results are not met because we value immediacy more than anything. It is getting more and more difficult to accept that some things need time.
Have you ever felt more lonely after spending an evening on a dating app than before logging in? That’s because these apps satisfy intimate connection cravings but it takes more than a few swipes to build a relationship. It feeds the need for distraction, not the higher need for belonging.
. Short-term commitment
When I was in college I took one dance class with a British teacher, as we sophomores were complaining that it was difficult, she told us with a half-smile: “I know, life is hard and then you die.” I found the idea of useless suffering discouraging at the time, but the sentence stuck with me all through these years. I was later able to see beyond the dark humor and realized that life can indeed be rough, and even unfair, but it isn’t a valid excuse to give up on dreams.
Some people have made great achievements against all odds; Stephen Hawking kept giving conferences and writing books when being only capable of pronouncing 5 words per minute. Grit and patience are intertwined. Unfortunately, we now tend to scroll our lives away and move on to the next thing/project very fast.
. Lack of trust
We’re going through a collective trauma. The global level of uncertainty is inducing major trust wounds. How can anyone be patient when they are insecure, unsure they can rely on others, and dubious that the Universe is by their side? Waiting feels like a waste of time if you do not believe everything will be all right… eventually. Living in fear (of failure, death, betrayal, bankruptcy…) puts so much pressure that there is nothing to look forward to, no reason to wait for things to unravel.
Antidotes to impatience
Whether you like it or not, you will have to wait at some point, so practicing patience will help you find a little peace of mind. Here is what you can try:
· Get some perspective
Keeping a sense of proportion helps moving forward in a more relaxed way. You can ask yourself: What’s the upside to the upheaval I am currently going through? Can time be on my side here? What would the person you admire the most do in that situation? What would they avoid doing at all costs?
· Compassion
Patience and compassion work hand in hand. Compassion for yourself first, meaning staying away from perfectionism which makes life a constant struggle. Accepting your own weaknesses, other people’s weaknesses and even the weaknesses of the system you are living in would be a great help.
· Self-care
Physical exercise and relaxation help calm down the impatient brain, so depending on your mood, move or meditate. It’s not about being productive here, just choosing conscientiously whatever feels most aligned for you at the moment. It’s always the right time to take care of yourself anyway.
· Zoom in
Becoming an attentive observer of people, nature, details around you… will enhance your waiting capacity and will help you enjoy the present moment more. That’s a tricky one if you are not a contemplative person, so I suggest you challenge yourself to practice a way to spot tiny fun things in any given situation and place.
. Slow down
It’s crucial to slow down, especially when it comes to important decisions. Choosing another temporality allows viewing things from another perspective. If you implement a slow-motion practice, you will be less intolerant to waiting time and boredom. So, is there an activity you could do more slowly? Can you try something new that does not require speed execution?
. Keep the Big Picture in mind
We’re impatient when we don’t enjoy the path, when we forget that the journey matters more than the destination. I know, not always obvious, not always easy! So, what could make your path more enjoyable? Is there anything that would make you feel like when you were opening one window of the Advent Calendar each morning before Christmas?
Being patient means not giving up, keeping the desire alive, and enjoying the path. Developing trust and staying open to the possibility of improvement over time, while keeping on acting towards your goals is the best way to stay hopeful, hence patient. Nowadays, it requires you to connect a bit more to your inner self than to your phone.
